i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
