I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
