We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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