Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
