Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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