best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
