Who wears a wallet chain?!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
