tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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