so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
