well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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