Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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