i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
