i was born a porn star she said
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
