hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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