I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
