no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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