awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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