She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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