I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
