New invention idea: vibrating tampons
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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