it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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