I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
