Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
