so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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