Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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