I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
