Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
