I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
