I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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