we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
