Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
