I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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