Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
