okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
