Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
