Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just found puke in my bra..
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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