Don't you send me to vm
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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