i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
