just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
