All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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