Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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