At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
