I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
