i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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