Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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