that's an acceptable place to lick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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