That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
