Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Randomize