That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
