You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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