Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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