awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
