I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Your penis caused this!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
